a little sprout

It’s truly as if almost every single day is a struggle for me and I don’t mean just with the outside world; it’s an inner battle mostly. I feel as though I’m floating through time right now, with no landing pad in sight.   It’s a new year and all I can think is- big deal. The one constant in my life is gone and I don’t know how to make sense of the humanity around me. I wander in disgust and cannot fathom these souls that don’t get along with their family or these people who just aren’t that close to their parents... Or rather- their Mothers……. What?   I don’t understand you… What a shame. What a sham. You were jipped? You know that right?     See, can you just hear the nauseating tone? I know it—I know I’m awful and I’m swear I want to work on it. But- not five minutes after these more clear and forgiving thoughts pass by, I’m suddenly thrust back into the anger, questions, resentment and pain that makes me spew these gross judgments all over everybody where ev...