a little sprout

Since my mother's passing, we are again facing some major changes... each bringing their own set of worries and pain you thought you already knew. My Dad is selling the house we grew up in. Thirty beautiful, stressful, wonderful, bittersweet years spent in that home. Christmas, Halloween, Easter- you name the holiday, my mom decorated the house for it. She always saw the light in pretty much anything- making things seem all the more special and memorable. All the things she held dear are now just that- things. There is almost too much- too much to take and try to hold on too with this major change. I've packed up photos, books, toys,  knick  knacks, clothes- anything I can grasp the past with; anything I can show my children to remind them of their precious Grandmother, to share stories of my beloved Mother and of a time and a place that will now be forever gone....   If I had my life to live over   -by:  - Erma Bombeck     “I would have t...

It’s truly as if almost every single day is a struggle for me and I don’t mean just with the outside world; it’s an inner battle mostly. I feel as though I’m floating through time right now, with no landing pad in sight.   It’s a new year and all I can think is- big deal. The one constant in my life is gone and I don’t know how to make sense of the humanity around me. I wander in disgust and cannot fathom these souls that don’t get along with their family or these people who just aren’t that close to their parents... Or rather- their Mothers……. What?   I don’t understand you… What a shame. What a sham. You were jipped? You know that right?     See, can you just hear the nauseating tone? I know it—I know I’m awful and I’m swear I want to work on it. But- not five minutes after these more clear and forgiving thoughts pass by, I’m suddenly thrust back into the anger, questions, resentment and pain that makes me spew these gross judgments all over everybody where ev...